found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
