Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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