And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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