thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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