I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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