i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
