I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He passed out mid-signature
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They have beer where we have blood.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
