I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
