the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
