I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
