Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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