Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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