I think my vagina is haunted
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
