Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize