Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
