Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
