He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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