Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize