Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
