This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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