I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize