Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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