I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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