with your own penis?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Randomize
