I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
