Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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