Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Randomize
