Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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