I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
