Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
