Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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