so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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