he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
