don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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