its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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