What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
