Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
