i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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