some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
