he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
