so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
do nipples grow back?
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