Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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