i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
