i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
