Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
