He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
