is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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