I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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