If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
