Too much gin, very little bucket
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
