i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
