brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
