I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
