I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
worst night to have a conscience
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
