Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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