I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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