I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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