Dual....:-)
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
