Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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